James 4:13-16- Look here, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we are going to a certain town and will stay there a year. We will do business there and make a profit." How do you know what your life will be like tomorrow? Your life is like the morning fog--it's here a little while, then it's gone. What you ought to say is, "If the Lord wants us to, we will live and do this or that." Otherwise you are boasting about your own plans, and all such boasting is evil.
This scripture is hard for me for two reasons.
1. I want my life to have purpose.
2. I want to feel like I know what God is doing.
To be honest, figuring out God’s “will” for my life is a lot harder than it was when I first became a Christian. I’m not sure if the way he speaks changes with maturity or I just don’t listen as well anymore. Either way, I’m guilty of over spiritualizing the location of my life and making plans of my own. I need to read this scripture more often when making big decisions.
Maybe I’m getting ahead of myself. As many of you know, Kayla and I moved to Corpus Christi, Texas for a total of 6 days. We packed and unpacked twice and drove 18 hours in a week with a 6-month-old baby because we thought we knew what we were doing.
On the drive to Texas Kayla got a call asking if she would be willing to interview for a position as the General Manager at a property next door to where she worked in Norman. She didn’t apply, but one of our friends who works for the company mentioned her as an option for the position.
This was a huge opportunity for her, so we talked about it and decided if a few factors were met in the proposal, then she would take the job. To our surprise, everything we spoke about was exactly what they offered and we decided to move back.
It was one of the most humbling times of my life. We told everyone goodbye, and I genuinely thought that God wanted us to move. I was wrong. When we got back to Norman, we instantly had peace. We are pretending like Norman is a new city, so we are exploring churches and even finding new things to do. It’s given our home a whole new life for us.
Sometimes you have to leave where you are to realize that it’s where you were supposed to be.
I think my fascination with moving around has a lot to do with the fear of being known. The idea of moving to a new place where I can be whoever I want sounds refreshing; because half of the time I don’t live up to the standard I set for myself. God is really showing me a lot about grace lately and how to have it on myself as much as I do others.
I recently watched a documentary called “Godspeed: The Pace of Being Known” (I highly recommend it. I’ll put the link at the bottom of the page.). It reminded me of what ministry is all about: Personal connections with people in your community. It’s easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of trying to reach the world and forget to love the people that are right next to you. If we slow down, we are able to know people and be known more than by only doing “outreaches” all the time. There’s nothing wrong with outreaches, but I think the goal should be to create relationships, not just to plaster our beliefs across a neighborhood.
To make a long story short, we are back in Norman and life is good. Trying to figure out God’s will can be hard if you make it that way, it’s nice to be reminded that he’s in control. If you have any stories similar to this leave a comment. I would love to hear about it.